tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-147094672011-04-21T14:56:58.654-04:00Weird, I thought this basement was in my mind. How did you find it? There are things down here I can't part with just yet. I'd have organized better if I knew you were coming.Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.comBlogger211100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-83020299986348480782008-03-19T16:53:00.002-04:002008-03-19T17:00:53.125-04:00

Wow, look at all this stuff. It has been a long time since I have been down here to the basement. Any readers still subscribed will probably be amazed to see this addition to their feed. The astute reader with a good memory (or one who has read back through all these humiliations just now) will have detected a marked aversion in my psychological makeup for using the restroom at work.In short, I

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1154055808375483152006-07-27T22:45:00.000-04:002006-07-27T23:03:28.466-04:00

Sorry for the long hiatus. Hmm, I wonder if a hiatus has ever caused a hiatal hernia? Anywho I have been writing a fantasy story lately for my buddy Colter, and that has consumed much of my writing focus. You know, swords and magic. Not, er, the other kind of fantasy. He'd never speak to me again, I'm certain of it. And I would probably be exceedingly bad at writing that manner of thing

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1144699093985165462006-04-10T15:56:00.000-04:002006-04-10T22:11:11.976-04:00

Okay Depresso McDownerbummer, make with the funny! Alright, alright already.In my former post I mentioned a suite. That is the Siamese twin of the dormitory, or if you prefer, two dorm rooms conjoined at the bathroom. Here is an example I drew from a rough memory of the layout of our room. The four of us guys decided to put all of the beds in one room so that the other room could serve as a

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1143037974737529722006-03-22T09:29:00.000-05:002006-03-22T09:32:54.756-05:00

Most of these reminiscences have been humorous, and there is plenty more of that to come. But not everything lying around in this basement is safe. There are places down here where children shan’t play. Where rusted edges jut, splintered corners lean, dank pools form and shadows seep. Why, oh why would I direct your attention to one of these areas?Because there is a line we must walk, you and

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1141394990362652642006-03-03T09:08:00.000-05:002006-03-03T09:18:32.760-05:00

Some have a face for radio and some have a voice for writing. I have come to the conclusion that it might be profitable to restrict my permission to address women.My wife and I were enjoying a day at the beach with other couples. Lake Michigan's waters were surprisingly warm that day and the ripples were so inspired they aspired to oceanic wavelengths. So we were out there battling the

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1138902035349183742006-02-02T12:32:00.000-05:002006-02-02T12:40:35.360-05:00

Okay I know I am way overdue for another tale. But this will be another quick post. I am just curious who all is tuned in to this basement in my mind. If you feel like it, click on comments below and just leave your name or screen name, and if you are a cyber-friend or know me in meatspace. For the name thing there is no need for a full name, just your first or last. This could be a lot

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1137172318780975092006-01-13T12:09:00.000-05:002006-01-23T15:44:02.960-05:00

Okay this won't be a full on post, just some advice.No matter how funny you think it is, or what a good joke it would be do not casually refer to your wife as "Nanny McPhee." She won't think it is funny and you will waste a lot of time trying to explain yourself."Nanny McPhee"

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1137164907278590232006-01-13T10:05:00.000-05:002006-01-13T12:07:30.043-05:00

Gratefully, not all of the embarrassing tales are mine. Since he was good enough to leave a comment I will now tell one of my favorite Mike stories. This should be fun. I can enjoy all of the hilarity of the situation without any of the anguish that comes from my own memories. Anyone who has spent much time with me in meatspace has probably already heard this one. The conversation probably went

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1136313764172131732006-01-03T13:20:00.000-05:002006-01-03T13:42:44.186-05:00

Since Joe brought it up I might as well tell you. This one is a real life nightmare come true.My senior year of high school I got a part in the chorus of Pippin, the musical about Charlemagne’s son’s search for fulfillment in life. The musical has a real carny feel with its wild movements and extravagant costuming. Joe in fact played the titular role (for the uneducated reading this that means

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1134406845143632642005-12-12T10:04:00.000-05:002005-12-12T12:19:42.250-05:00

If I do something weird or wrong and get caught-out in public that can be funny. But the tragic ones occur by misperception. This one just happened to me. I was on my morning break in the snack bar sitting with my co-workers. Pete returned just today from his trip to Hawaii. He brought chocolate covered macadamia nuts and ginger candy.To set the scene, the snack bar is off of a hallway. No, check

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1133455568370634682005-12-01T11:45:00.000-05:002005-12-01T11:46:47.383-05:00

In a recent post I referenced some of the goings-on in the Burnhams Cafeteria. This was a remarkable place of many first meetings with close friends and unlikely events. For all the time I spent there it seems that there were only two programs ever on the Ernest Burnham side television. The Simpsons and the Price is Right. The Smith Burnham side relentlessly played BET.Once I was eating there

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1131638133285831292005-11-10T10:52:00.000-05:002005-11-10T10:55:33.303-05:00

Today's story is another God experience. I think I was 8 when this happened. My family was driving through the mountains to visit my Grandparents. My Mom's parents live in Parkersburg, West Virginia and my Dad's folks were living in North Carolina. The drive through West Virginia, Virginia and North Carolina gets mountainous. We all used to take dramamine so that the curves and ups and downs

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1130877337928239512005-11-01T15:27:00.000-05:002005-11-28T08:17:50.133-05:00

This one happened in college. I was having lunch in the Burnhams cafeteria with the basement guy , before he moved to Wisteria Lane. This is the same cafeteria where Leslie danced on the table to "On the Catwalk" and Nick mooned everyone while they were trying to eat. If you have seen Basement Guy, you know he's got some big arms . And he looked at me and said:"Jonny10 you got to go to the gym,

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1130774629963288002005-10-31T10:51:00.000-05:002005-10-31T11:03:49.976-05:00

In September of 2004 I started taking HapKiDo classes downtown. When I arrive at the DoJang the TaeKwonDo students are finishing their class so we mingle in the locker room as I change into my DoBok and they are changing out of theirs.As I was changing a high-school aged TKD student approached me and introduced himself."Hi my name is Roooobert." he said. (The multiple o's do not signify a vowel

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1127840303917556012005-09-27T12:50:00.000-04:002005-09-27T12:58:23.923-04:00

It is my freshman year of college. My roommate is Joe. We are having a party in the dorm room and Jenny, Rory, Erin, and a guy named George are there. George was a fabulously flamboyant gay fellow from Paw Paw. He was one of those gay guys that are bred by small oppressive towns. In other words he was overgay, a stereotype, a homosexual rebellion against the persecution he must have endured. I

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1127331780650675032005-09-21T15:33:00.000-04:002005-09-21T15:43:00.656-04:00

You are not ready to read this story. It will disgust you. I am grossed out of my mind just thinking about it. I know apologies in advance seem disingenuous, but I am sorry for what I am about to tell you. The only balm to my straining conscience at this point is the knowledge that you asked for it. Even though you may not have been prepared to reap the fruit of that request, the blame does not

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1126631929321897022005-09-13T13:17:00.000-04:002005-09-13T13:18:49.326-04:00

Here's one that happened when I was in college (hmm. Most of them happened then)I was depressed out of my mind because I had just had a breakup with a girl I wanted to marry. She was at college in Colorado. I thought that I might cheer myself up by going to a comedy show. There was this place on campus called Bernie’s After Hours which was a student-run comedy club with no booze. It is where

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1124475392153850122005-08-19T14:15:00.000-04:002005-10-04T08:24:15.233-04:00

This one happened at high school.Perhaps you will recall freshman year Gym class. It was to be our last year of mandatory Gym class and for me it was one final year to compound all of the embarrassment that can be forced on me by my awkward juvenile body and an audience of my peers. I'm sure we both have embarrassing gym memories. Ripping one during sit-ups while someone held my ankles is one of

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1123162505001187752005-08-04T09:29:00.000-04:002005-08-25T09:55:05.526-04:00

This one takes place while I was a sophomore at College. I was home for Christmas break. I was dating a girl that I was just wild for named Blythe. I was driving to her house and as I turned the wheel a puff of air came up through my winter coat from under my arm. It smelled like a hot beef sandwich. Oh no!! I can't have BO on my date!!!! Well I was in real trouble here because I was running

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1122314696596371472005-07-25T13:54:00.000-04:002005-08-23T15:47:04.616-04:00

I found this in an old cardboard box full of text books:In college I was an English major and the only math class I took was "Excursions into Mathematics." With that title I was fully expecting the Letter People to pop out and help me with my homework. I think my problem with math is that it is wholly illogical. I say that in the face of nearly unanimous opposition.Logic is based on math, they

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14709467.post-1121997962517123802005-07-21T21:37:00.000-04:002005-08-24T08:04:13.463-04:00

Hello friend and welcome to my basement.We all have a basement in our minds. This is mine. It's nothing fancy, but it's comfortable enough. Most of the stuff lying around here is junk, but there are a few interesting things. I'm glad you came. I was cleaning things up a little and I found this in an old plastic storage container.This happened to me a few months ago at work.First perhaps, a little

Jonny10http://www.blogger.com/profile/02443735573551283042noreply@blogger.com2