Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Desperate Homeboys

This one happened in college. I was having lunch in the Burnhams cafeteria with the basement guy , before he moved to Wisteria Lane. This is the same cafeteria where Leslie danced on the table to "On the Catwalk" and Nick mooned everyone while they were trying to eat. If you have seen Basement Guy, you know he's got some big arms . And he looked at me and said:

"Jonny10 you got to go to the gym, man." The reason he said this is because my arms resemble Jack Skellington's more than Popeye's.
"Really Basement Guy? You think I should?" I said.
"Oh yeah boy, look at this!" He said flexing his considerable biceps. "You got to get you some of this!" His face contorted and his arms bulged. Muscles popped out on top of muscles. There were muscles chasing each other around his arm like squirrels up a redwood. I looked down at my arms and realized that my hands are the widest part of them all the way up to my shoulders. Then Basement Guy gasped. I looked up and his arm lay across the table toward me. Though the rest of his fingers were lax, his ring finger was curled and was actually touching his wrist. He had a plateau of a charlie horse knotting his forearm.
"Aah, pull it out pull it out!" he said. I grabbed his ring finger and straightened it out and the monster cramp unfisted in his forearm. As he shook his hand and stretched it out I smiled at him and said, "Are you sure I need some of that?"

Anyway, I am really proud of Basement Guy. He and I had some fun in college. We saw Damon Wayans at Miller, passed the orange at a funeral party, and I learned that he takes basketball seriously, even midnight basketball during exam week with a bunch of theater majors.

Peace out Desperate Homeboy!

Update: 11/9/2005
As you may know Desperate Homeboy was let go from his role as Basement Guy. I feel really bad for him because I know he was super excited for this role. Personally I think he was typecast for playing a mentally challenged character and his next role will require some acting. Just kidding Pah-Jhay!
On a serious note though, I would encourage anyone reading to take something away from this. Without applying Jesus Christ's sacrifice to ourselves, confessing our past sins and trusting in Him to cleanse us from them and teach us the way to live we are chained and shackled by those sins. The Bible says: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." From that moment on we are freed from the imperative to sin and we can choose whether we will walk correctly or succomb to temptation. There will still be unfortunate consequences when we sin, but we can know that we will be forgiven of them if we will just ask.
I know that in the aftermath rumors will fly around and some details may emerge and some will feel tempted to judge Basement Guy. The Bible also says: "Judge not, lest you be judged." Nobody knows what it was like to be in his situation, and there isn't a one of us that has not missed God's mark for perfection.
I know that while I was in college some thought me a prude. But my advice is give your life to God and do your best to live in the way the Bible instructs. Once you master yourself you will no longer be a slave to your base desires.
At the very least look at what lead up to disaster, and challenge some long held views that may have contributed to a poor decision. Maybe think about sensitivity training for dealing with females.
All that to say, I'm still proud of Desperate Homeboy's accomplishments and I know that he will bounce back because he is an excellent actor. Whoever they get to play Caleb will only be reprising a role that he created.
Jonny10 out.

Update: 11/28/2005

The official line is out. Basement Guy has revealed that the producers wanted to go in a different direction and bought out his contract. Perhaps in my last update I was responding to a rumor of why Basement Guy was let go instead of the truth. But whatever prompted it, what I said about Jesus and freedom from sin still stands.


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