Thursday, November 10, 2005

The King of the Mountain

Today's story is another God experience. I think I was 8 when this happened.

My family was driving through the mountains to visit my Grandparents. My Mom's parents live in Parkersburg, West Virginia and my Dad's folks were living in North Carolina. The drive through West Virginia, Virginia and North Carolina gets mountainous. We all used to take dramamine so that the curves and ups and downs didn't make us carsick. The pressure changes as you go so it helps to chew gum or have something to drink so that you can pop your ears. Yawning works thebest. You have to go easy because the car can overheat on those long upward pulls. There are tunnels in two places that go under mountains. The shorter one I could hold my breath all the way through, but there was no chance on the long one. On this trip for some reason there was an amazingly thick swarm of bugs. I don't remember what kind they were but as we drove they kept smacking themselves open on the windshield. I can still see that nauseous blur on the windshield in my head. My Dad was driving and he would run the wipers to clear it off. We ran out of wiper fluid. The wipers were just smearing the bug guts and we couldn't see out. It was horrible. My Mom looked at me and said: "Pray Jonathan. Pray that God will send us some rain to clear the windshield." I bowed my head and prayed. I can't remember if I prayed out loud or silently to myself, but as soon as I raised my head and opened my eyes a raindrop hit the windshield. Then another. It began to rain. There was not a downpour, only a light rain, but God gave us enough to allow the wipers to clear our view and remove us from danger. God doesn't always answer my prayers the minute I ask. That is why this one stands out to me. It is hard not to believe after an experience like that. I know that may not convince athiests, and even other Christians might not be moved when they hear it, but that day I experienced God. I know that He is a God who can answer prayer and that He cares about what happens to us.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Desperate Homeboys

This one happened in college. I was having lunch in the Burnhams cafeteria with the basement guy , before he moved to Wisteria Lane. This is the same cafeteria where Leslie danced on the table to "On the Catwalk" and Nick mooned everyone while they were trying to eat. If you have seen Basement Guy, you know he's got some big arms . And he looked at me and said:

"Jonny10 you got to go to the gym, man." The reason he said this is because my arms resemble Jack Skellington's more than Popeye's.
"Really Basement Guy? You think I should?" I said.
"Oh yeah boy, look at this!" He said flexing his considerable biceps. "You got to get you some of this!" His face contorted and his arms bulged. Muscles popped out on top of muscles. There were muscles chasing each other around his arm like squirrels up a redwood. I looked down at my arms and realized that my hands are the widest part of them all the way up to my shoulders. Then Basement Guy gasped. I looked up and his arm lay across the table toward me. Though the rest of his fingers were lax, his ring finger was curled and was actually touching his wrist. He had a plateau of a charlie horse knotting his forearm.
"Aah, pull it out pull it out!" he said. I grabbed his ring finger and straightened it out and the monster cramp unfisted in his forearm. As he shook his hand and stretched it out I smiled at him and said, "Are you sure I need some of that?"

Anyway, I am really proud of Basement Guy. He and I had some fun in college. We saw Damon Wayans at Miller, passed the orange at a funeral party, and I learned that he takes basketball seriously, even midnight basketball during exam week with a bunch of theater majors.

Peace out Desperate Homeboy!

Update: 11/9/2005
As you may know Desperate Homeboy was let go from his role as Basement Guy. I feel really bad for him because I know he was super excited for this role. Personally I think he was typecast for playing a mentally challenged character and his next role will require some acting. Just kidding Pah-Jhay!
On a serious note though, I would encourage anyone reading to take something away from this. Without applying Jesus Christ's sacrifice to ourselves, confessing our past sins and trusting in Him to cleanse us from them and teach us the way to live we are chained and shackled by those sins. The Bible says: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." From that moment on we are freed from the imperative to sin and we can choose whether we will walk correctly or succomb to temptation. There will still be unfortunate consequences when we sin, but we can know that we will be forgiven of them if we will just ask.
I know that in the aftermath rumors will fly around and some details may emerge and some will feel tempted to judge Basement Guy. The Bible also says: "Judge not, lest you be judged." Nobody knows what it was like to be in his situation, and there isn't a one of us that has not missed God's mark for perfection.
I know that while I was in college some thought me a prude. But my advice is give your life to God and do your best to live in the way the Bible instructs. Once you master yourself you will no longer be a slave to your base desires.
At the very least look at what lead up to disaster, and challenge some long held views that may have contributed to a poor decision. Maybe think about sensitivity training for dealing with females.
All that to say, I'm still proud of Desperate Homeboy's accomplishments and I know that he will bounce back because he is an excellent actor. Whoever they get to play Caleb will only be reprising a role that he created.
Jonny10 out.

Update: 11/28/2005

The official line is out. Basement Guy has revealed that the producers wanted to go in a different direction and bought out his contract. Perhaps in my last update I was responding to a rumor of why Basement Guy was let go instead of the truth. But whatever prompted it, what I said about Jesus and freedom from sin still stands.